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Archive for the 'Person' Category
My math teacher in elementary school, Bill, taught me how to do fractions, but he also taught me two other things. One turned out to be trivial: thanks to his patient tutoring after school, I learned to play “Waltzing Matilda” on my school’s upright piano, with chords and everything, and eventually played it at our […]
A little girl stands in the rain at the Fremont Solstice Parade. Girl: Happy winter solstice! Her mother: No, honey, it’s the summer solstice, but I can see how you’d make that mistake.
Library patron: Excuse me. Can you tell me where the e-books are shelved?
IKEA Customer: I don’t really see myself using a mirror, except in the bathroom.
Man in front of post office: Do you know if there’s a post office around here?
Guy #1: Do you know the baker’s son? Do you know the baker’s dozen? Guy #2: Do you know the muffin man? Guy #1: Dude, I do. Hey, let’s go get wasted.
She: You’re cute! He: …But I’m 5-foot-4. She: But you’re cute! He: …But I’m 5-foot-4. She: But you’re cute! He: …But I’m 5-foot-4.
I sent this letter to Cat Power on March 1, 2003, care of her record company. I never received a response. Dear Chan, My name is Nathan and I am writing to propose marriage. I admit that this is an uncommon and unexpected question, simply because we have never met. However, I suspect you will […]