Letter to Cat Power

I sent this letter to Cat Power on March 1, 2003, care of her record company. I never received a response.

Dear Chan,

My name is Nathan and I am writing to propose marriage. I admit that this is an uncommon and unexpected question, simply because we have never met. However, I suspect you will agree that the merits of my proposal outweigh any arguments against. You and I have every prospect for a happy life together.

  • I enjoy traveling, which seems convenient given your lifestyle.
  • I have a college education and a lucrative career in computing, which may be a useful financial supplement to your music income.
  • I would make a good father due to my friendly, childlike personality.
  • As an Irish-American with reddish-blonde hair and blue eyes, I would bring an element of genetic variation to our progeny.
  • I am a safe driver.
  • I own two of your albums which are entitled “Moon Pix” & “You Are Free.”
  • There are a number of useful tasks I can perform around the house, such as cleaning, simple food preparation, and yard work. In addition I am quite tidy.
  • Lest you think I am overly domestic, I would also note that I enjoy mountain biking and caving.
  • If you ever want to retire to the Irish or French countryside, my citizenship in the European Union will be invaluable in achieving this.

These are just a few of the reasons why I’d make an excellent husband. And, in case you doubt my sincerity, may I point out that I have never proposed to anyone before, in person or in writing. I can understand that you might prefer to get to know me before the wedding; perhaps we can arrange to meet for dinner at the restaurant of your choice. So, please consider my suggestion and let me know what your decision is.

Love,
Nathan