Bumper Cars

I go through a large parking lot every day when I’m walking between work and home, and I often see a vehicle with a sticker reading “Save gas — Ride a bike” on its bumper. This particular vehicle rankles me to no end, because not only do I see it almost every day — and think about all the gas this driver could be saving if only he was practicing what he preached — but it’s plastered on the back of an SUV! Argh! Although it’s only a Honda CR-V, not a Navigator or a Hummer, it’s an SUV, which necessarily means that this driver is using more of that precious gas than most of his neighbors in the parking lot and on the road.

So if you must put a bumper sticker on your car, make sure it’s not quite as obviously hypocritical as “Save gas — Ride a bike.”

My advice? Stick with the funny ones, such as “Everything I know I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains.”